Thursday, 22 November 2007

NEXT WORSKSHOP EVENING, Tue 27th

This is to let you know that the next workshop evening we will be having guests, Chorley and District Writers Circle. They will be launching the latest edition of their magazine and we will be launching ours, so we will want to see which can fly the farthest.
Wine and twiglets should be on hand for the victors to celebrate with and to help console the losers.

Please come, and bring a friend. Or even two.

Wednesday, 14 November 2007

Thank You

This is the true unexpurgated version of Emmy Starkers acceptance speech at the Hammy Awards.

"Oh my god, i don't believe this,
there are others .... more deserving,"

(there they are ,seething, gnashing their teeth,
choking inside their tuxedo's or chewing the straps
of million dollar sequinned tourniquet gowns)

"I wish to thank Hank, my banker,
Tom, my current bonker,
and Harry,Larry and Barry
to whom i used to be married.
Bugs, who supplies my drugs
and Billy who has the biggest willy in the world.
Annie who waxes my fanny and under arm hair.
Marge, who supplies the tantric body massage
and Fanta,who helps me remember my mantra.
Alice, who designed my fake palace,
and Jewel who picks leaves out of my pool.
Kate and her mate, who electrified my frontgate,
and Timmo who shampoos my 90 footlimo.
Tag who was my best shag ever,
and Heather who controls the weather over my house.
Proctor, who flies my helicopter
and Kaff my pet giraffe.

To all you boozers, floozies,users, hustlers,
musclers, tusslers, dick heads, inbreds,
braindeads, lead in their pencils,
bulgingbiceped, nandrelone driven phoney balonies;
tough luck, i'm top of the tree"

(Tired and emotional she exits the stage,
not a dry eye in the place. Thank you and good night.)

Ragged Girl At Liverpool Docks (November 1894)

In a half lit silent twilight world,
I see her form, a tiny girl,
who lost her life in times gone past,
now gently tapping on the glass,

All who ever came that way,
faceless crowds that nameless, swayed,
moved back beyond a distant town,
and dug themselves back in the ground.

“This piece of meat cut as you wish,
a small cube placed inside a dish.”
In corner shops where naked light,
closes shutters for the night.

Across the Adelphi’s shining floor,
stroll elegant ladies, plainly bored,
while bow tied fat contented men,
read false accounting in their den.

Tapping finger on the glass,
reflecting ropes tied onto masts.
Hears seven men tell twenty tales,
about the giant ships that sail.

Tossed high among a ten force gale
,spray that sweeps the shore with shale.
Tide marks beached like giant whales,
leaves driftwood sold at jumble sales.

“Let me in, I fear the tide
will sweep me from this place I hide.
Where gutter meets the cobbled stones,
I cannot find my way back home.”

Tapping fainter, fading now,
moonlight gleams on fevered brow.
Moves beyond the pool of light,
closed round by the darkening night.

Tuesday, 13 November 2007

Clown

I wandered lonely as a clown
With thoughts too sad to mention,
When all at once I came upon
A lonely clowns' convention

Dave Carr

Monday, 5 November 2007

Autumn's Promise

Autumn’s Promise

A watery sun in a grey caped sky, filters through the colander clouds
Mirroring itself, on champagne sparkling cars
Desperate to reflect its weakening rays - to remain alive a little longer

Pavements glisten in remembrance of rain
Iridescent hued oil stained traffic tracks laid
Dazzle the eye on a miserable day - car visors shade ‘gainst low hanging light

House windows shine like stainless steel, hiding their souls from passers by
Roof slates of polished coal redirect rays to their heavenly home
The light is weak, strong, bright and dull - prisms within a dying autumn sun

Small pyramids of leaves huddled in roadside gutters
Seek communed protection from sweeping breezes
Discarded from boughs they crackled and fell – curled, wet, glowing
amber bright in certain death

The relics of summer are all around, trees readying for slumber at last
Season’s flowers though faded promise rebirth
When spring’s delicate fingers caress them again –nature’s cycle to set in motion once more

Margo Ross – November 2007

Sunday, 4 November 2007

Salute to Haiku

How to say hi to
An odd kind of foreign verse
I coo Haiku, Hi.

Saturday, 3 November 2007

Experiments in Haiku

Listen! I think I…..
“……with a rucksack on my back.”
First Haiku this year.

Roads to revision
Are paved with television
And good intendo

Had to say goodbye
To my tiny mobile phone
With a microwave

We’re caught in a trap,
I can’t walk out; because a
Spider wants his lunch

How hard can it be?
To research my bronchial tree.
Lung dark history.

Younger than today
Never needed older now
Won’t you please help me?

Two chicken drumsticks
Rattle out a chicken roll
Paradiddle doo!

This sheep frightens me
Have I the guts to mount it,
Being a nervous tick?

I have a wetsuit
I wore it last Friday night
I have a lawsuit

Joku

Girl walks into bar
“Barman gimme a double”
So he gave her one

Dave Carr